My life....time to step into the dark

I have been wanting to write something for a week now and just haven't had the time.  I decided not to write any posts after I have taken my favorite sleeping pill otherwise my blog might sound very funny and you would all wonder what narcotics I was taking!

Clark and Barbie have left for a little vacation.  They went to St. George and left me in charge of Elle and their dog Coco.  I can handle the dog but I am not sure about Elle :) 

My two favorite neighbors (Clark and Barbie) have been very boring lately.  I don't really have any good stories to write about.  But I do have another 8 months or so with them so there is bound to be something interesting that comes up, just be patient!

I went to Elle's parent teacher conference yesterday.  I am so proud of Elle, she has been working so hard and she is doing wonderful!  She really wants to go to St. Andrews in Scotland.  It is a very difficult school to get into and she told me every time she feels like slacking off she thinks of St. Andrews and it motivates her to do her best. 

Today is my anniversary.  I am so happy to say I have been married for 21 years!!!  Scott is going to take me somewhere special this weekend (it is a surprise, but I think we are going to a bed and breakfast in Heber??? Not sure though)  I love surprises. 

Things are going smoothly in my life right now.  I am happy and content.  I guess it is time to step into the dark....I am going to register for school and go full steam ahead and try to get my degree by the time Elle is finished with high school!  Right now I want to be a teacher and work with young kids.  I know it will be hard but I can do it!

I am grateful for a blessed life!  Especially for 3 great kids and a wonderful supportive husband!  I love Scott :)

3 kids 3 reports

Today is Tanner's birthday.  I feel sad that I can't talk to him.  He is doing just great on his mission and I am sure he is not sad  at all that I can't talk to him.  He has better things to do then talk to his mom (this is a good thing).  He was just asked by his mission president to learn Chinese in order to teach Chinese investigators. (He studied Chinese for three years before his mission but he hasn't had any Chinese for a year now).  He will still be studing and teaching in Cambodian also.  He is very happy about this new assignment but very humbled because it will be very difficult to study, learn and teach in both of those languages.  If anyone can do it I know Tanner can (especially with the help of Heavenly Father).

I am feeling frustrated with Elle's experience with young women's so far.  I was hoping that the leaders and girls  (mostly the leaders, I know sometimes the girls just don't take the initiative on their own) would welcome Elle and help her feel comfortable with the program and help her feel part of the group.  It is just not happening.  I am not sure what steps to take.  I feel like Elle is just falling through the cracks, she would be totally happy to not attend any activity or meetings if I didn't insist she go because no one notices her or talks to her or helps her feel welcome and part of the group.  I saw this first hand tonight as I attended an activity with her (the parents were invited).  Actually if I was 14 and new in the ward and was treated the way she was tonight I wouldn't want to attend anything either.  My heart just aches for her.

I am feeling relieved and so happy for Emma.  She is enjoying her experience in China.  She told me today that she doesn't understand why Tanner or anyone else would want to ever live there permanently.  (I think it is mostly because she doesn't like the squatting that is required to go to the bathroom)  She is planning on taking a subway or train to attend church this coming week.  This will be a 9 hour adventure, 3 hours to get there, 3 hour service and then 3 hours home!  I can't wait to hear about her experience :)

I am so grateful for prayer.  I pray that all of my kids can over come any challenges that they may face this coming week :)

Just call me Molly :)

Today has been one of those days that just is long and hard but wonderful :)  I made my first batches of raspberry/peach jam with the help of my great sister-in-law Amber.  She is a great cook and all around home maker and I am glad she was willing to take me through it step by step, now I am so happy to say I can make raspberry jam!  I am going to make another batch of it tomorrow just to give away!!  I am so excited to have this skill.  My next homemaking skill I want to learn is how to make really yummy bread and orange rolls (she is excellent at this too!)  I am going turn into Molly Mormon Homemaker before you can snap your fingers!! 

When I went walking with Elle tonight she said "mom you just have to much time on your hands.  You never use to have any time to do this kind of stuff when we were in MN, you were always so busy doing other things for other people."   I am excited to have some free time to do some things for my family now.  It is an odd feeling not to be running around for others but be totally focused on my family and especially Elle!  I think she kind of likes it.

I am grateful for Prophets who give us the council to get prepared for emergencies.  This is our families focus this month as Tanner has given us a challenge to get our 72 hour kits prepared. 

My Love

I wanted to express to my husband how much I love him.

He took Elle and I to the Utah Symphony on Saturday night and it was so beautiful.  I enjoyed every minute of it.  It actually was Elle's idea to attend but Scott jumped right on that and got the only tickets left with 3 seats together in the whole place.  It was 2nd row from the top but that didn't matter because the music sounded outstanding and the two people I went with were even better then the music.

Before we went to the concert Scott took Elle and I to dinner at Market St. Grill.  I love seafood and the claim chowder was excellent.  I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful night.

I am so blessed to have a husband who cares enough to take his two girls out!  He even missed the Utah game so he could do something special for us.  Sometimes I don't appreciate all he does for our family.  He is one of the hardest working people I know (probably the hardest working person).  He has a heart of gold and I am so lucky to be married to him!

It is my 21st anniversary in two weeks! It hasn't always been easy but it definitely has been worth it.  I am the person I am today because of a husband who loves me and supports me in everything I do.  I love him with all my heart!

I didn't expect this post to be so mushy but I can't help it, my relationship with Scott has been on my mind a lot and I felt a need to express this.

I will stop here before you all go throw up.

I am grateful for the family Scott and I have created over the last 21 years.

Crying through season 7 and missing my kids...oh what a day :)

I have had a day of rest and relaxation.  Grandpa took Elle to school.  Scott had hours long conference calls he was involved with and needed the house very quiet.  I decided to watch the seventh season of The Office in my room with my dogs, I started at about 10:00 this morning and just got down with the episode when Michael leaves and I have never changed out of my pajamas today!

I love, love, love The Office.  It has been a favorite of mine and my kids for many years.  Especially Tanner and Emma loved to watch it with me.  As I laughed so much today it made me think of my two kids.  The kids that are very far away from me at the moment.  As the day has progressed and I watched Michael leave the tv series it actually has made me feel sad and miss Tanner and Emma.  I am struggling at this very moment with the reality that my two oldest kids are unable to be here with me.  I know this is just a small moment in time but for this moment I feel sad.  I think my sadness is compounded with the fact that I am living in a new situation and I miss my life and friends that I had in Rochester.  It just seems to be the perfect storm tonight!

Okay I actually feel better about it now that I blogged about it.  I have peace in my heart and know that things are how they should be.  I am happy and hopeful for Tanner and Emma that they will reach goals and serve the Lord and become great people.  I want this for them.  I don't want then to feel like they can't do these things because ti causes to much pain in my life.  Those of you how have had children leave and move on in their life I would appreciate hearing from you and know how you have transitioned through this trial in your life.

Today I am grateful for my family.  I have been so blessed to be a mother to 3 awesome kids and a wife to a caring husband.

I know I will feel great in the morning and beable to move on with life but right now I just need a really good cry.  It is so hard to let your kids move on with their lives even when it is such a positive experiences for them.  I have been a mom to them for 20 years now and I really don't know how to much else and so when these chapters in your life come to a close and new ones open there is a great sadness and emptiness that enters your heart.  On the other hand I am so so so so happy for them both to be having experiences that will help them become the people God intended for them to become.  It is through this kind of stepping out of our comfort zones when we grow the most.  I know they are enjoying their lives and learning and growing.  I also know that this helps me grow as a person too.  But sometimes, just sometimes it is very hard!

Okay I feel much better now. 

laughter is the best medicine

Barbie made me laugh today.  I have not been feeling well (I have a UTI) and Barbie was just the medicine I needed.  I have made a choice to bloom where I am planted and right now I am planted right beneath Barbie and Clark.  Today Barbie asked me if I would cremate her (after she is dead of course) and then she wants me to carry a little bit of her around with me everywhere I go (just in case we need to talk).  I told her no.  I would not enjoy carrying her around and I didn't think I needed to carry her around with me so we could "talk" whenever I wanted.  I could talk to her without having her ashes with me all the time :)  But I did promise her that I would wear the ugliest broach she pulled out of her jewelry box to her funeral (she of course thinks it is beautiful because it "sparkles"). 

I am grateful for my new phone (I love it!)  I have been taking all kinds of fun pictures of Barbie today (the kind that if I put them on my blog she would be mortified and probably would just die right then and there.  Then I really would have to wear that ugly broach)

Senior Moment

Barbie was a bit embarrassing today.  I think she had a "senior" moment during church.  Today during our sacrament meeting (this our church's main meeting) it was testimony meeting (when members of the congregation have the opportunity to stand in front of everyone and testify to others about what they know to be true. It is very spiritual and a reverent time to listen to others share their feelings).  Someone got up and shared a story of a time when they were growing up and towards the end he turned to Barbie and Clark and stated that they may remember this because they once were in his ward.  Barbie then blurted out from the congregation "yes!, and Krystine can too!" very loudly.  The whole congregation turned to look and I wanted to crawl under the pew.  Oh it was a wonderful moment :)  For those of you that are not Mormon, this is uncommon...people do not shout out from the congregation anything during this time...Just saying :) 

If you want to learn more about how the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints worship on Sundays please go to mormon.org or lds.org

I am very happy to have my hubby Tony home!  It has been wonderful to spend time with him.  I missed him so much.  I get to have him home for the whole week :)  I feel like life is so wonderful.  I love my family.

I am grateful for this Sabbath day (even if Barbie embarrasses me).  I love Sundays.

The Call that Never came

I have been sitting up waiting for Tony to call me.  He said he would call me tonight a 11pm right before he had to board a plane that will be bringing him home to me.  It has been 2 weeks since I laid eyes on him and I am very happy that I get to spend a week with him before he sets off to his next assignment.  I don't think he is going to be making that planned call tonight.  I am going to go crawl into bed and dream about him. 

I am grateful for my best friend Elle!  She is awesome and fun and interesting and crazy all rolled into one.

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid People!!!!!!!!!!!

I am very, very, very annoyed right now.  You could even say I am angry.  I just signed on to my email account and I had some really weird emails from people with odd subject descriptions.  I knew something was wrong.  I was very leery of opening any of them.  But a friend of mine had sent me a message on face book letting me know that it is actually me (my email account) that is sending out the weird emails and that someone had hacked into my account!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to scream....it is so frustrating, why do people do that???  I have changed my password for my account and Scott will be getting home on Friday so he can help me fix things (this happened to him not to long ago).  Until then I will not be sending emails out.  If you happen upon my blog and read this it is not because I have sent out a reminder that I wrote tonight.  Sad!!  I hope to be able to email to all my family and friends soon. 

I am grateful for the beautiful night sky I was able to enjoy tonight as I went walking.  It was so amazing with all the brilliant stars!

Driving Miss Daisie (Oh, I mean Miss Barbie)

Have any of you seen the movie Driving Miss Daisy??  That is what my day consisted of with Barbie and her bestie who is visiting from California, Buffy :)  They sat in the back while I drove them to Salt Lake to do some Costco shopping (if any of you knew what a shop-a-holic Barbie is you would understand how hard it was to convince her that she didn't need to buy a bench to put in her house.  My advice to her as her employee was to hold off and not to impulse shop and if she still felt like she really needed to buy the furniture in two weeks I would drive her back in to buy it.  Barbie was not happy with that, but we got out of the store without the bench!!!  (Clark should be very happy I am in his service, I think I will actually save him money by cooking, cleaning and driving Miss Barbie around!)  After we came back from SLC we picked Elle up from school and then drove down to Thanksgiving Point so Barbie and Buffy could meet another friend (we shall call her Muffy).  Muffy is interesting and may be involved in the adventures I write about in the future about Barbie and Clark.  Just Saying =)  I actually enjoyed driving Miss Barbie and her friends down to Utah County because while those three silly women were enjoying dinner I was able to go to my sister Allison's house and visit with her for a while.  It was great getting to see her and hang with her two girls and Elle.  It made my whole day!  So needless to say I am tuckered out with all this driving (and listening to Barbie and Buffy talk about nonsense.)

Side note ~  Emma sent a letter today.  She stated I would like to add for the record "Mom, I hate to admit it, but you were right. Heels are just not okay to wear. After touring the school we toured around our neighborhood and Anna and I decided we should wear heels. Worst idea EVER. Our native coordinator got us lost so we were just roaming around for like 3 hours. Not fun."!!!!!!!!! (I added the explanation marks for emphasis)  These are some of the most beautiful words I have ever heard coming out of Emma mouth. :)  When does a 17 year old ever say that their mom was right about anything????  I am so happy.

I am so grateful for daughters who admit when they are wrong and their mom is right!  And I am grateful for life, it is great.

My new Job :)

I am getting really bored!  I knew this would happen.  After being so busy with my life in MN and then moving to Grantsville I knew the day would come when all the unpacking was done, Emma was off to China and Elle in school that I would look at Barbie and say "I am bored".  Today it happened.  Barbie then said "come to Tooele with me I want to buy a bench to put in the kitchen."  After I talked Barbie out of purchasing yet another piece of furniture for her already "you have enough furniture in your house Barbie!!" home.  She offered to pay me to be her personal chef!  (At least for this week, haha).  Barbie has a guest coming to stay with her and she doesn't want to have to worry about cooking and cleaning so she offered me a job right there on the spot!  I thought why not?  I don't have anything to do with my life right now (I even called the rs president and told her I would be happy to help with a funeral that the rs is doing and she said "no, we have it covered".  Even when I volunteer to help I can't get anyone to give me an assignment, I would have killed to have some one call me out of the blue and offer to volunteer for an assignment in Minnesota!  Oh well....

So this week I am officially employed!  I will be cooking the meals for Barbie and her friend Buffy all week long :)  I am so excited!!  I am even going to drive into slc tomorrow and buy some food to prepare!  Things are really picking up for me :)  I just hope Clark is okay with this arrangement....

I am so grateful for the FHE lesson that Elle prepared tonight because her grandpa Clark asked her to do it. (She would have laughed in my face if I would have asked her to do it!)  Thank goodness for Grandpas!!

Two kids and a husband far away

Barbie and Clark have been very, very boring the last two days. I will move on to better and more interesting information.

But what has not be boring is the letters Emma has been sending from Hong Kong.  She is funny.  Her favorite site to see in Hong Kong was Jackie Chan's home.  She is enjoying the good looking Chinese boys (or men) which she tells me are tall (I am not so sure if I believe that)  I will need to see some proof (a picture of that would work nicely Emma).  She said she enjoyed her first real Chinese meal, crunch noodles with seafood (squid tentacles and scallops).  And she is getting around on the subway system.

Tanner was moved from his location on the coastal area of Lynn MA so he wouldn't be in any danger when hurricane Irene hit.  Thankfully it was not as serious as predicted and there was only (I say only because they were expecting much worse) flooding and power outages in his area.  I am not sure I will hear from him tomorrow on his P-Day because I think they will have all the missionaries out helping to clean up. 

Elle has been liking school so far.  She enjoys her teachers and even likes seminary.  I hope that she can join some school clubs that might help her make friends if she can get involved in activities.  It is so hard being the new girl.  But all in all my three kids are all safe and happy and doing great.  One in China, one in Massachusetts and one in Grantsville (and a husband in Hawaii).

I am so grateful for the health and safety of my family!

Barbie to the Rescue!

So today I had an adventure.  As much of an adventure as it goes in Grantsville.  I went outside (in my pj's) to walk the dogs.  As I walked out the door I decided to grab my phone (I don't know why) I was only going to stay outside for 30 seconds.   After the dogs did their business I attempted to open the door.  To my surprise it was locked.  No problem...just walk up stairs to Barbie and Clark's house and go in and then down the stairs to my home sweet home.  I went straight to the garage door the is ALWAYS unlocked.  But for some reason on this day Barbie decided to be a little safety conscious.  That's okay I will go to the back porch door and let myself in.  No suck luck.  That door was also locked.  Finally I walked around to the front door, I really didn't think it would be unlocked and sure enough it too was locked.  What to do????  Barbie should be home, I will knock.  For some reason Barbie decided to leave the house on this 100 degree day and not even give me warning or tell me what she was doing with her day (she always tells me what she is doing with her day).  Good thing I had remembered ti grab my phone.  I gave Barbie a call.  No answer.  Two minutes later I call again.  No answer.  Five minutes later another call.  After calling 10 times and still no answer I decided to just settle down onto the porch swing and visit with the dogs.  By this time I had been outside for about half an hour when I had a phone call from Barbie.  "Hi Barbie, where are you?"  "Oh, hi Krys, I am at the store, what are you doing?  I saw you called".  " I am locked out of the house and can't get in.  How much shopping do you have?"  "I will be right home I will check out right now".   20 minutes later Barbie came home with 5 bags of Popsicles.  Barbie to the rescue both with a key to get into the house and with something cool to help me quench my thirst :)  I love Barbie!

Side note:

Emma was on face book today while she was waiting in the airport in Korea.  It took her 14 hours to fly from LA to Seoul Korea.  She had a lay over for 4 hours there.  She is doing great and things were going smoothly for her.  She will email me once she gets to Hong Kong and let me know how things are. 

Tanner's mission president emailed me today and said that he was being moved inland.  He is serving in an area that is right on the coast of the Boston area.  With Hurricane Irene on the move they thought they would take precautions to keep the missionaries safe and move them.

So now it is just Elle and I.  It is weird to have two of my kids on their own.  I have already started to miss Emma.  It feels so quiet here in the house.  I guess Elle and I will have to make some noise.  (What will I do when Elle leaves for college??) 

Scott is in Hawaii for two weeks.  He has already been there a week and so will be home next Friday!  Elle and I are glad that we have Clark and Barbie here to entertain us :)

I am grateful for my mom!

Barbie and Clark the story begins :)

Hello.

I have decided to begin blogging again.  I know I am kind of fickle.  I do and then I don't.  But last night I gave myself a challenge.  My dad asked me why I was not blogging any more.  My last blogging day was a day in July when I was having tooth problems and then my world changed.  I was released from my calling as RS President and then we moved to Utah.  I have been super busy unpacking, visiting with my family (I have loved all my sister days and nephew and niece days!!!!!!!  I am the luckiest aunt in the world because my nephews and nieces are just so cute and funny and interesting and I love being around them!!  I have been busy getting Emma ready to leave for China.  (I will probably blog about that tomorrow, she left today! :( )  I have been busy getting Elle ready for her high school years (she started 9th grade last Tuesday!!)  I have been busy just getting use to living in Grantsville Utah!!  But one of the biggest things I have been doing is getting use to living right below my mom and dad!!  I told my mom and dad at dinner last night (yes, we eat most of our meals together...I love this!!) that I was going to dedicate my next year of blogging to them.  I was going to write about my experiences of being an adult child living with/under my parents!  My mom is not so sure how she feels about this but I don't think this will be a problem because she doesn't ever read my blogs or get on her computer for that matter.  My dad was okay with this idea.  So here goes a new years commitment to blogging with my focus on my life in Grantsville and the adventures I am going to have with my mom (and sometimes my dad) but probably mostly my mom (since I am around her like 24/7).  I am going to try to protect the innocent by changing the names of the people involved in this blog.  From here on out I will refer to my mom as Barbie and my dad as Clark.  I will refer to Scott as Tony and Elle as Ellie.  I will refer to Emma as Kate and Tanner as Elder.  I will of course just be me or Krystine or I.  Anyone else that is involved with the day to day dealings with me will be known by their real names but they probably won't know I am blogging about them so that is okay!

I am still going to be grateful each day.  Today I am grateful for Emma.  I will miss her soooo much!

One Tooth To Live...the saga continues

I went back to the dentist to have my crown put on today...

Half way into the appointment the dentist says to the dental assistant.  Lets do an impression.  I am laying there thinking to myself as he pours goop in my mouth "I know I did this in June because this makes me feel like I can't breath".  After he takes it out he said to his assistant.  "We need to do this again because I did it wrong."  So they smoother me again.  Finally after the second time I say to him ?what are you doing???????  I thought you were putting in a permanent crown?"  :)  "No" the stupid dentist said.  "What are you talking about?  I know we did this in June when you thought I didn't need a root canal and only a crown".  I say.    "No" the stupid dentist said.  "Yes" the smart patient said.  "Okay, go check and see if we have a crown for her" the stupid dentist said to his assistant.  30 seconds later...."Oh, what the hell was I thinking?" the stupid dentist said.  "I guess I will have to eat the cost of this first crown, aren't you lucky?"  The stupid dentist said.  "I want you to have a better crown then this first one.  We will just have you come back in a couple of weeks".  The stupid dentist said.  "No, I won't come back in a couple of weeks"  The smart patient said.  "I will be gone and actually I will be moving very far from you!  I won't be back to see you so you will have to get this crown ready for me to use by next week".  The smart patient said.

So my tooth is still hurting me tonight :(  I have to go see the stupid dentist next week :(  Actually I think the patient is the stupid one!

I am grateful for ice cream!

Blessing from Heaven that's what friends are!

Today was a great day!  I feel like a new woman.  What happen you may ask?? ....I was released from my calling yesterday and I actually feel a huge weight lifted from my shoulders and an amazing amount of worries leave my mind.  It is so weird to actually feel a physical change come over my body from one day to the next.  I was blessed so much as I served as rs president,  I will miss serving the sisters of my ward. I know I will always care and deeply love the sisters of the 2nd ward...but wow do I feel free :) 

One of my bestest friends in the world hosted a wonderful going away party for me today.  It was so great to visit the women one last time who have touched my life in a special way.  I have been immensely blessed to live amongst choice women who have influenced my life for the better and helped me grow as a person.  I am now beginning to feel like this move is really going to happen.  It has seemed so far off and just not real to me until today.

I feel sad and excited today.  I look forward to my future and I am grateful for my past.

I am grateful for my friends.  I love you Ann and Valeri and all the rest who have touched my life!

20 hours in the car with 3 teenager girls....oh boy!

Oh so good to be back!  I just crawled into my bed after a two days and twenty hours worth of driving.  My back, neck, hands and knees are hurting, where is Ann when I really need her??  But I am so excited to eat an ice cream sandwich while blogging  in my own bed!  I sent the girls to the opening of Harry Potter but knew I would not make it through the midnight showing after driving all day long.  So here I lay all by myself experiencing peace and quiet (after being in the car and hotel room with 3 teenage girls for the last 48 hours I am relishing this time alone :)   The girls were actually really great, only a little teasing....Emma has Elle convienced that I once had a heart tatoo on my ankle that I had removed the year she was born.  I don't know why I went along with this only it was so funny to see Elle get a little mad that I refuse to allow her to have a tatoo.  We played about 10 alphebet games and I didn't have any luck finding any southern state license plates driving on the trip.  Other then that the girls were so good and kept me entertained and alert the whole time.  I had to go to the bathroom way more then they did.  I have decided that I am just getting old, plain and simple.  The girls can hold their bladders for about 7 or 8 hours but me on the other hand can only hold my bladder about 3 hours (if that).  There are some things that I do not like about getting more mature!

My trip to Utah was great.  I enjoyed my time with family and am looking forward to spending much, much more time with my sisters and all the nieces and nephews that I adore.  Only 2 weeks until we leave.  There is lots to do in the time remaining to prepare for this new great adventure!

I am grateful for the safe drive back!

2011 Family Outing Bear Lake (Fun, Fun, Fun!)

My vacation to Utah has been full of fun and exhaustion!  Fun, because I have been surrounded by my favorite people in the whole world, my family :)  Exhaustion, because by niece Kylee had a blow horn with her and blew it in my ear each time I tried to take a nap!  I am going to be moving closer to Kylee in two weeks and I have some revenge in my pocket that I am going to share with her....she better stay on her toes!

Family outings are the best thing in the world.  I love being around all the so sweet and not so sweet nieces and nephews.  It is so fun seeing all the kids grow up and turn into teenagers and young adults.  Time goes by so quickly and before you know it they are all grown up and have kids of their own!

Some of the highlights were:  Team Competition, my team couldn't figure out the riddle (Tanner where are you when I really need you?) we took last place!  Pranks, using fishing wire, blow horns, and markers!  Awards Night!!!  (I won the academy for Eat, Pray, Love!! Tanner won the academy for Lost in Translation.  Elle won the academy for  Boy Crazy :)  Emma won the academy for Working Girl.  Scott won the academy for  Planes, Trains, and Automobiles)  Dodge Ball!!!!!!!!!!  Half dead chipmunks being thrown at Chelsee.  And finally the Newly Wed Game where Scott and I came in Last Place!!  Oh and we can't forget the Great Daltino Magic Show!!!!  BUT...the best part of the family outing by far was just hanging out and visiting with all 4 of my siblings.....GOOD TIMES!

My family is full of pranksters.  There is never a dull moment when all 33 of us gather to eat, sleep and play (lots and lots of playing and eating, not so much sleeping).   We went to Bear Lake this year and it was so beautiful and the weather was perfect and the raspberry shakes were the best!  Elle and I are going to venture up there again once we move to Utah and have ourselves another shake and homemade fries with some good old fashion fry sauce!!!  It will be worth the 5 hour round trip we decided so if anyone wants to join us please let us know!

Elle had her 14th birthday yesterday!  Wow!!!!!  My baby is such a teenager, especially the boy crazy part :)  She is growing up into such a wonderful young lady.  I have seen so much growth in her just over the last 2 months.  She has started to treat people the way she wants to be treated instead of thinking the world revolves around her!  I love her and she is a wonderful, amazing, interesting, intelligent, beautiful, and funny daughter of God.  

I am grateful for Elle!  and I am grateful for my brothers, sisters and parents!

Activities on the 4th

I had a great 4th of July.

I got up and mowed half the lawn (before it got to hot) 

We all went out to breakfast.  Canadian Honker's restaurant is one of my favorite Rochester restaurants and the breakfast was yummy.

After a small break at home Elle and I went to a movie.  The Green Lantern.  It was a fun movie that I enjoyed.  Elle shared her skittles and there were only about 4 other people in the nice cool theater with us.

I then came home and used my brand new vacuum!!  I love it!!!  I vacuumed the whole entire house and did about 5 loads of laundry today :)  Plus I finished mowing  the last half of the lawn after the girls picked up doggy doo doo.

Then my friend Ann came over and we watched the fire works from a neighbors house (it is the new "best" spot in town to watch fire works from!!)

Now I am going to bed.  How is that for a day of independence??  I am exhausted :)

I am grateful for my husband.  I have enjoyed my long weekend with him!

I love this country

Funny story of the day.

I was sitting outside today waiting for a young man of our ward to come pick up fast offerings.  (This is a donation that members of the church make monthly usually the first Sunday of the month.  This donation is used to feed the poor, help pay for medical expenses, and other temporal needs of its members)

One of my favorite little girls in the whole wide world came to my house as I was sitting outside waiting for this young man to arrive.  I had cash in my hands.  Finley asked me what the money was for.  I told her "I am giving it to the church and the Bishop is going to use it to buy food for those people in our ward who don't have enough food".  She then looked at me very seriously and replied...

"Krystine, we don't have any food at our house.  We just ran out of all our Gushers!"

I told her that I would buy her some gushers and bring them over to her house but I needed to give this money to our bishop.  She was happy with that answer.

So to Finley's mom...in the future please let your rs president know if your family is running low on food especially the Gushers!!  I will be sure to help you out :)

I am SO grateful for the Independence of our nation.  I am grateful to live in a land of promise.  I am grateful to all those who serve our country.  I am so grateful for freedom!!!!!!!!!!!

Early Birthday Adventure

Today we are celebrating Elle's birthday by taking her to MOA because there is a free concert by a band called "Forever The Sickest Kids".  Actually when I say we I mean me.  I am going to be in the car with Elle and a couple of her friends for 90 minutes and then walking around the mall for hours so Elle and her friends can get a good spot for the concert.  What I will do for my kids sometimes amazes even me!  I am going to be tuckered out by the end of the day and then we will have a 90 minute drive home on top of all that excitement!

The very best part of the day to me is seeing Scott later tonight.  He is flying in around 7pm and he promised to come over to the MOA (it is right by the airport) and take me out on a date (that means walk around the mall with me while Elle is at the concert).  I am so happy he is coming home tonight :)  I miss him so much when he is gone. 

I am grateful for air conditioning!  Boy is it hot outside!

Hard to leave

I am not feeling very good today.  It started out okay.  I even had the pleasure of taking a friend out to lunch and a movie but as the day has progressed I have feeling kind of yucky.  My mouth is still hurting.  Is this normal??  It hurts to chew on my tooth so badly.  My head and even my back hurts. 

Okay I will stop being a baby and complain about my aches and pains.

I am getting really excited to go to Utah for my family outing.  Only one week away. When we return there will be only 2 weeks until we are off to Utah to live.  I still am having a hard time dealing with my emotions about it.  When we left Albuquerque I didn't really feel a strong sadness.  I did have one friend from Albuq. who I grew extremely close to and still miss and stay in touch with but I certainly didn't feel like I was leaving home when we moved from NM.  It is so different here in Rochester.  I LOVE it here and I LOVE the people I have grown close to and those that I have served with and those I have served.

I think this is going to be a very difficult move for me.  I am sure those reading this blog are going to get tired of me talking about this.  But it helps me to write my feelings down.

I am grateful for my friendships I have made along my journey.

Catching UP

It has been a while since I wrote in my blog.  Between girls camp and just getting through this weekend I haven't had a computer available or the time to sit down and write down some thoughts.

I have a couple of things that may be interesting/complain about today.

1.  I had the second half of my root canal done today.  It went fine.  The dentist (specialist) was very kind and gentle and I actually liked him ALOT.  My problem with the whole thing is this....I will be selling Elle in order to pay for the work done on this ONE tooth!  I have to pay $1200 to my original dentist (the one who opened up the tooth, worked on it, realized it was beyond his capabilities, closed it up, and then told me to go to a specialist)  I have to pay $1300 to my dentist today for the same tooth!  And now I have to return to the original dentist and pay another $1200 for him to put a crown on it!! 

Oh my gosh I think if anyone wants to make a million dollars that they should consider going into dentistry!!  It is costing me $3700 for one painful tooth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.  When I got home I realized that I was starving and so decided to eat some left over soft shell taco.  My mouth was hurting, still numb and I wasn't feeling the best but I definitely was hungry.  I quickly put my cheese and meat on the shell warmed it up topped it off with some avocado and rolled it up.  As I was eating it I thought it smelled very funny and by the time I had about 3 bits left I decided to throw it away because I just didn't think it smelt right.  I went into the kitchen and looked at the pepper jack cheese.  (If you use pepper jack cheese you know it has all kinds of colors in it)  As I lifted it up to smell it I felt sick the smell was so bad.  As I looked closely I saw that it was all moldy with green ugly mold!!!!!!  Oh YUCK, I about threw up then and there.  I started crying to Elle and she came and gave me a big hug and told me I would be alright.  "Alright"....she didn't just eat the gross moldy cheese!  It took me a while to get over the sick feeling I had all afternoon (I know it was all in my head, but still I was sick!!)

3.  Girl's camp was a really great experience!  Elle was so excellent all week long.  I was so proud of her and her ability to go up to any girl in camp who looked like they needed a friend and just talk to her and make her feel like she was important!  She was happy and I just loved spending time with her and watching her as I see a huge transformation in her.  She even bore her testimony at the end of the week and it was so great as a mom to hear her testify that she knows her Savior loves her :)

4.  I have started the moving process!!!!  I called the movers today and they are scheduled to come pack up the house on July 25th and 26th.  They will be loading the truck on the 27th (WOW, I can't believe it)

I had the missionaries over for dinner yesterday and it was so sad to me to know that it may be my last time in Rochester feeding the sweet, sweet missionaries who serve in our ward.  I have a very close relationship with them and go out to teach with them about once a week.  I am going to miss that so much.  I love sharing my testimony and LOVE missionaries! 

I am grateful for modern dentistry procedures (can you imagine living in the early 1900's or earlier??? Now that would be painful!)

Girls Camp here I come!

I wanted to take a minute to write on my blog before I got to tired.  It is getting late.  I have had a million little RS things to do today because I have been out of town and today just happens to be one of those busy RS days.  I am leaving in the morning for girls camp, I will be gone for the whole week. 

I said yes to this assignment 5 months ago before I knew that I would be getting ready to move.  I now wish I knew how to say no.  I have not packed a single item and Elle and I will be leaving tomorrow.  I still have to find sleeping bags, bug spray (lots of bug spray), and other stuff to numerable to list here. 

This will be the 5th straight year that I have been asked to go to girls camp.  Each year they do it a little different.  I have gone from camping in tents in the high rocky mountains in NM with the fear of bears getting you in the middle of the night and waking to 35 degrees morning weather to camping in tents with torrential rain storms with the threat of tornadoes hitting the the middle of the night and having to usher 20 girls into a stinky bathroom shelter to wait out the storm.  Also the terrain is much different here in MN as compared to NM.  I have had wonderful experiences with girls as well as other leaders and have grown to love the stake I am a part of because of the friendships I have made outside my ward.  This year like last year we will be staying in cabins!!  I love staying in cabins, this is much better then tents.  This will be my last camp here in MN. 

Well I am off to prepare little treats for the lucky 2nd year campers I get to spend the next week with!!  Yippee :)

I am grateful for the experience of serving the wonderful young women especially my daughter Elle!

What a Week!

We got home late last night and I was so tired.  After the dogs attacked us I crawled into bed and fell asleep.

The last week was fun filled and tiring.  I have decided that it was such a great experience going outside the USA and experiencing something totally different but the sun and heat did me in. 

Saturday:  The first day we got there around 3 in the afternoon, we just relaxed, went out to dinner, it was excellent, I ordered grouper stuffed with shrimp and lobster).

Sunday:  The second day we laid out in the sun basically without any sunscreen.  (The sunscreen I brought from home we lathered on but it was expired and of no use).   Needless to say Scott and I burned.  Scott burned a lot.  But we enjoyed going out to dinner that night as we traveled into down town Cancun and I ate a Mexican shrimp dinner that was sooooo GOOD!

Monday:  The third day we went on a tour to the Mayan Runes.  This was the best day of the whole vacation.  It was so interesting and educational.   We had the most interesting tour guide who told me that when he his son-in-law ask him permission to marry his daughter he took him out to an empty field and shot his own two dogs.  He told his soon to be son-in-law that he didn't have a problem shooting him either if he ever did anything to his daughter that displeased him!  Needless to say he told us he has the best son-in-law EVER!  Hymie was our tour guides name and he was a character!!  We sat up front next to him on the van and so he talked mine and Scott's ear off the whole 2 hours to the runes and then again the entire 2 hours home!  We were very entertained :)  That night I can't remember what we ate but I know it was very good because every meal I ate in Cancun was good.

Tuesday:  The fourth day Scott and I slept in till about noon and then just got up and hung around the condo.  We were feeling much to sore from our burns to be out in the sun.  So we had a great day lounging around on the cool deck of our condo with the best view of the ocean and all those who were cooking themselves out in the sun.  We read, slept, and just chilled all day long.  That night we ventured to the down town area again looking for a place to eat.  We were told by a guy to go to a certain restaurant and we would find great food at great prices.  This was the most disappointing of all restaurants during our whole trip.  He feed us full of crap because it was not the best and the prices were very high.  That night I ate shrimp fajitas.

Wednesday:  The fifth day we hung out on the beach but mostly around the condo again and just piddled around that day.  We went to the movie that night and then ate at a restaurant that we found by the movie theater that was good.  Again I don't remember what we ordered but it was pretty good. 

Thursday:  The sixth day we enjoyed the beach and just relaxing.  By Tuesday we figured out what happened to our sun screen and had bought some that actually worked.  Our sun burns were still tender but we were venturing out on the beach a little more.  That night we had THE MOST EXCELLENT  MEAL OF THE WHOLE WEEK.  We took the bus into town and found this little dive looking place that Kevin had looked up on line.  It was well worth the 30 minute bus trip.  I ordered a steak it came with tortilla shells, guacamole and pico (it was just like a fajita almost).  The steak was so tender and flavorful it just melted in my mouth and on top of that it was cheap!! 

Friday:  The seventh and final day.  We rented wave runners and ventured out into the open ocean.  Scott and I rode together and Valeri and Kevin were together.  Scott was not very adapt to the wave runner and was having a difficult time getting the hang of it.  Within the first 3 minutes he had dumped us right into the ocean.  Oh my gosh!!  I thought a shark was going to get me.  I hate the feeling of not having a bottom below me (being able to touch the bottom with my feet).  I climbed back on and we started all over again.  Once Scott was able to feel more confident on it we were zooming around but it took a while.  Later that day Valeri and I got deep massages outside on the balcony of the hotel (Ann yours are so much better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), it was somewhat enjoyable but like I mentioned to Ann I have had better.  Still it was nice to relax and have someone massage your sunburned back and worry about the towel blowing off for everyone around me to enjoy the frontal view of my white body.  (I am kidding)  Actually now that it is over I am not sure how I feel about my massage.  Seriously it was not the most enjoyable because I couldn't relax totally because of my sunburn and the wind was blowing all around.  That night we went out to a very nice restaurant.  I enjoyed lobster!!  It was very good.  I also ate a key lime pie that was scrumptious.  The most interesting part of the night was the crocodiles that swam around right next to the restaurant (and me) as we ate outside next to the lagoon.  I had no idea that there were crocs in the area until the waiter told us that there were thousands of them that lived on that bay side of the island.  It gave me chills just thinking about it.

Saturday:  The eighth and last day.  Really it was not a day of vacation at all because we got up early and left for our flight home at 8:00 am.  our plane ride was uneventful and we had a layover in Atlanta GA.  We got home late last night and like I mentioned earlier we just fell into bed and called it a day.

I will always remember my first time out of the country.  It was a wonderful experience with great friends and an adventure I will cherish.  I hope I have many more experiences to look forward to!

I am grateful for my girls who I missed dearly.  They called and text me tons :)  I think they missed their mom lots!

first day

It is Sunday and I have been in Cancun for 24 hours now. It is so beautiful here. I know that that are many beautiful places around this great big world but as I look out over the azure ocean I find it hard to believe that this is what I get to look at for the next 6 days.
The weather is nice. It is hot and humid but nothing that I haven't experienced in Rochester and as I lay by the waters edge and get to feel the ocean breeze it is not so bad. The only thing that is wrong with the trip is the fact that I have become sunburned on my first day soaking up the sun. I used sunscreen I am not sure what happened. I even reapplied but I guess I should reapply more then once.

Tomorrow we are going to see some Myan rune's. I am very excited for this little excursion. I am going to lather on the sunscreen and wear a big rimmed hat and not let the sun touch my pink sore skin.
I am grateful to experience the ocean and this wonderful soft sand.

Bye, Bye Rochester and Hello Cancun

I am leaving in less then 10 hours to enjoy a week of sun and relaxation.  I hope my tooth feels better and that I can just soak up the rays and beauty of the ocean.

I still have to pack so I don't have time to write much.  I am going to try to blog on my tirp.  I hope it works.

I am grateful for the cool weather today.  It was so refreshing after a week of hot, hot, hot.

friendships a blessing forever

One day to go until I leave all the worries and obligations behind and enjoy the sun and people watching galore.  I am sure some people will be doing their own people watching my way...I am white as a ghost and will stick out like a sore thumb in Cancun but that is okay maybe when I get home I will have cooked a little and have some leather skin.

Tomorrow will be a very busy day.  I have been involved with a funeral in my ward and the funeral is tomorrow.  I haven't packed anything and I know when I talked to Scott he thought he would have me available to do last minute things for the trip.  I told him I was going to be busy most of the day with the funeral he wasn't very happy.  I just don't think he even realizes how much time being rs pres. really takes up.  Most of my behind the scene stuff takes place when he is gone and I don't mention to him every little thing I do.  I think most of the time being rs pres. is like a full time job.  I have the most amazing presidency that has supported me and helped me so much but even then much of what I do comes at odd times and requires confidentiality.  It has been such a blessing to serve as rs pres.  I have made some wonderful friendships.  Friendships that I would never have had the opportunity to develop without being in this calling.  That is what I am the most grateful for.  My life will be forever enriched because of the associations I have had with wonderful women.

Today I am grateful for the beautiful weather.  It was 70 degrees and right now as I am writing it is raining and watering my grass and flowers!

I love the dentist (NOT)

I had a very traumatic day.  I got up this morning at 7 am after my pain meds had worn off for the night.  My tooth once again kept me awake and I finally took half a vicodon and it didn't really make me feel like it should have.  Just barely took the edge off.  The first thing I did after mowing my lawn at 7 am (I didn't want to face the heat of the day mowing the lawn) I called the dentist to see if he could see me.  I stopped by at 10 am and he proceeded to tell me that I must have gotten some food stuck under my temporary crown.  I then preceded to tell him no, that unless he put some food under my crown because it has been hurting since he worked on it last week that it wasn't food.  He then told me to come back at 2 pm and he would numb it a little take off the crown and then clean it out for me.  I left feeling upset and defeated.   But when I returned I told him again that it was not food he decided to take an xray and found gas bubbles in my root which meant an infection.  He decided that a root canal needed to be done.  He numbed me up good and strong.  I was shaking so badly and felt like I was having an anxiety attack then I just started crying.  I had dark glasses on that the dentist has you wear so the bright light doesn't bother you.  Good thing because I cried for about 5 minutes before I finally got a hold of my emotions and then went through the procedure.  Now this is not the end of my story.  When he finished he told me it was so bad that he wanted me to go to a specialist and have it completed by someone else.  Oh my gosh I am worn out.  I am tired of being in pain.  I am tired of the dentist not believing me.  I am tired of hating the dentist.....but on the positive side I leave for Cancun in 3 days :)

I am so grateful for numbing medicine.  What would I do if I lived in the pioneer times????

Heat and Pain = unhappy (not really I am very happy :)

I just have a little bit of complaining to do. 

It is dang hot!  My van doesn't have air conditioning and Scott took the Durango up to the cities to park in the airport long term parking lot.  I have had a lot and I mean a lot of errands to run the last couple of days and it is almost diarrhea inducing heat out there driving around in the van. 

My tooth has been causing me SO much pain.  I went to the dentist last week and had it drilled, and drilled, and drilled some more.  I am suppose to get a crown put on it on Thurs. but I am afraid that he is going to have some more work to do on it because I think it is not suppose to hurt at this point.  I HATE IT.  Going to the dentist and having work done that is.  I woke up last night at 4 am with throbbing pain.  I had to take some pain medicine and then couldn't go back to sleep for another hour until the medicine kicked in.

Okay I got that off my chest. 

I am grateful for a cool air conditioned home!

I love Mondays

Monday is one of my favorite days of the week...but this hasn't always been the case.  I use to get a lot of anxiety on Sunday nights just thinking about what Monday would bring and it would almost cause me to wig out on Sunday nights.  I am not sure why that is.  I am trying to remember if it was during a time when I perhaps worked and Mondays just weren't enjoyable to me??  Maybe it was when I ran a daycare and I knew it would be a long hard week??  Maybe when all my kids were in school and had homework and assignments due it caused me anxiety??  Maybe it was when I suffered from depression and anxiety before I sought out help and I didn't really have a reason to be anxious and was anyways....All I know is I use to dislike Mondays.

Now I feel at peace and can actually deal with any day of the week without struggling with anxiety.  I now look forward to Mondays because usually Scott is home on that day before he has to leave and travel for a few days.  I also look forward to hearing from Tanner on Mondays!  I enjoy his letters so much.  Plus my Sundays are usually super busy with my calling and Mondays seem to be a little bit slower relief society day.  (Not always though!)  Any way no matter how busy Mondays are I look forward to them without any anxiety.  And I am grateful for that!

I am grateful for a great night out with the girls eating at Culver's, they always make me laugh!! Yummy raspberry concrete :)

Sunday

I love Sundays.  I had a very busy Sunday but a very wonderful day.  The best part of the day was attending a baptism of a very good friend's best friend.  I love baptisms.  I always feel the Spirit so strongly when I attend baptisms.  What a special experience it is to welcome new members into the church as a RS president. 

I am getting so excited to go to Cancun next week.  Oh my gosh!  I think I am going to pee my pants.

I am grateful for great friends that make me laugh.  Thanks for all the good times!   

So Boring but it is ME

I am feeling a bit tired tonight.  I have had a busy day beginning with taking Scott to the doc. because he hurt his back last week while he was in CA.  He has been in some sever pain and I finally talked him into calling the dr. and letting them assess the problem and get him a prescription to deal with it.  Why is it so hard for men to admit that they need a doc?   He feels so much better now he knows it is not a serious problem and the pain will go away with some TLC and medicine.  After the doc. we went out to breakfast and then home for some Elle time.  After Scott's medicine kicked in we all went to the movie ( XMen First Class, great movie) and after a few afternoon errands a trip to Sally's, Barnes and Noble and HyVee we are finally home.  I don't know why I feel so exhausted but I am. 

I realize this is extremely boring.  Wow I have a boring life.  I don't have anything exciting to blog about.

I am grateful for the yummy cherry lime aide I drank today, it was so good :)

Where is your happy place?

I have such a love hate feelings about today.  It started out rotten.  I had to go to the dentist to have some drilling done on a tooth that has a crack in it and has been bothering me for one year now.  I have blogged before about how much I hate going to the dentist.  Well today was no different.  Emma told me I should bit his finger but I didn't.  I did get to have one of those wonderful shots into my gums that left my mouth and throat numb.  But even though I couldn't feel any pain the sounds and pressure that come from a dentist applying a drill in your mouth and grinding away at my tooth really, really, really bother me.  It causes me much anxiety and distress.  I found myself asking the dentist not to talk to me  because I needed to concentrate on going to a happy place in my mind and try to do some breathing exercises to calm down and relax.  I find it is much like going through natural child birth when I am so anxious about something that I need to laterally take my mind and thoughts to a whole other sphere to make it through the stress.  Basically I only feel this way when I go to the dentist and when I am having medical procedures done that I know will cause distress like having blood drawn (I always get poked 3 or 4 times before they can get anything out and the wiggling they do with those needles does not feel good at all).  One time when I was really ill and going in to have a procedure that required me to be completely out they couldn't find a vein to use to give me the anesthesia and so after having 3 different people try all different places to dig into a vein this one very kind man found a vein in between my toes.  That experience required me to go very, very, very far away in order to be calm and collect.  So that was my opinion for today.

I have a few happy places.
1. the beach, nice a quiet no people around, weather is beautiful sunny 80 degrees and all you can hear is the sound of the crashing waves.  That s pure peace to me.
2. I love sitting on a rocking chair and rocking my babies.  One of the few happy places that I love
3. Laying in bed with Scott as he rubs my back and then my legs and even down to my feet

Now my apple for today is....Emma officially was accepted into the ILP program and she will be leaving for China at the end of Aug.  She will be there for 4 months teaching young kids English.  She is so dang excited and I think has a great amount of confidence in her ability in doing this on her own.  I am so proud of her and the choice to live somewhere else in the world while sharing her talents and blessing other peoples lives.  I think this will be a great blessing for her. 

Scott got home from Cal. today.  Most weeks he takes care of the hotels in Cal. but very soon he will be heading out to Hawaii.  I can't wait to get to Utah and get settled into our life and start taking trips with Scott :) 

So as you can see my day started out on the rocky side but has ended on the beautiful side with family, love, adventures, and snuggles!  The best :)

I am grateful for my little sleeping pill friend named ambeian.  He is going to help me sleep with out a worry at all tonight.  It helps calm a busy mind and allows me to just sleep nicely.

10 things....

I have been thinking about what I can write about today (I know that it seems as though I wrote this on Friday but actually it is 1:20 am on the early morning hours of Friday so I am still counting this as my Thursday blog.  I was busy with Elle today doing fun errands.  Buying makeup and getting our hair done and going to Wal Mart and stuff like that.  She told me she is not looking forward to going to girls camp and I asked her why not and she told me because there are no boys there.  I then got to help a friend out with her kids while she went to an appointment and then was busy with a presidency meeting then off to my friends house for a movie night!  I haven't had time to write anything at all today until now.

But I am not sure what to write about...I think I will do a grateful post and write 10 things that I am truly thankful for.

1.  My husband.  I miss him so much and wish I could kiss him right now.
2. My kids.  They are so challenging and keep me on my toes.  I love to be a mom and have been blessed with 3 wonderful kids to raise to adulthood :)
3. My health.  I know what it feels like to not have good health from past experiences and I see others around me in my calling struggle with health issues and I am so grateful that I have an able body and mind!
4. My freedom.  I really am grateful to be a woman living in the US during this time period.
5. My friends.  They lift me when I am feeling down and laugh with me when life is funny. 
6. My computer.  I love the technology that keeps me in touch with friends and family and Tanner!  What a blessing it is to be so connected with people far away.
7. Beauty.  I know it is in the eye of the beholder but a few things I find beautiful are:  sunsets, large old trees, blue skies, first snow fall, babies, and my girls.
8.  I am grateful for really good food.  I love food and some of my favorites are:  whip cream (homemade is the best) lobster and crab, homemade bread, concrete from Culver's, and chocolate covered strawberries.
9.  Babies.  I love babies and am grateful for the way they make me feel, which is happy.
10.  And finally I am grateful for my testimony in God the Eternal Father and Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost.  My testimony leads to faith, faith leads to action, and action leads to joy. 

weird

When I tell people I am moving to Grantsville I can't believe I am even saying that word.  I am amazed each time I think about it.  I guess one thing this move has taught me is never say never.  If you asked me one year ago I would have laughed in your face if you suggested that I consider moving to Utah let alone Grantsville.

Definitely weird!

I had a great day with the missionaries today.  We went and taught a lady named Allison.  She asked me at the beginning of our visit to share my testimony.  It surprised me but I was more then happy to do it.  I love sharing my testimony.  I will miss going out with the missionaries when we move to Utah.  It just doesn't happen much in Grantsville.  In Rochester each of the 5 wards has an assigned set of missionaries just for that ward and their boundaries to cover 100,000 people.  In Granstville there are 2 stakes with 14 wards with a population of 8 thousand people or so.  I think my mom told me that there is one set of missionaries for each stake.  I will definitely miss being around missionaries and teaching with them.  It helps me to feel like I have a missionary connection with Tanner when I spend time with the missionaries.  I love to talk to them hear about their challenges, how they are feeling about their missions, missing their families and just the life of a missionary. 

I am grateful for the most beautiful day.  The weather was absolutely perfect :)

Last Day Of May!

Just a quickie post tonight.

I haven't heard from Tanner this week.  Because it was Memorial Day yesterday he was unable to go to a library and sent a letter.  It is hard when I have a week when I don't get to hear from Tanner. 

I am missing Scott right now.  Both the men in my life are gone and the girls are driving me crazy.  They are so loud.  they both try to talk over each other and it drives me batty sometimes.  I just need quiet and it is a hard commodity to come by in the Greer household sometimes.  The girls just get so overly excited. 

I am grateful for my swing i got for Mothers Day.  I got to go lay on it and swing while I listened to the trees  blowing in the wind.

A Beautiful Memorial Day

I am so grateful for those who serve in the military past and present.  Those who are willing to die for strangers.  Those willing to sacrifice being away from their own families so my family can enjoy a beautiful day and bbq with friends.  Those who believe in something called freedom and are willing to give life and limb for freedom around the world.  Those willing to respect others different them.  Those who fight for those who can not fight for themselves.  I love those serving past and present that have gave or will give their lives for something greater then themselves.  Thank you from all my heart.  You make my life beautiful and safe and possible.

I am grateful this day for Jordan Byrd.  He gave his life in Oct. 2010 while saving another person's  life in Afghanistan.  He is my nephew and niece's cousin and he is greatly missed by all who knew him and loved him. 

Not all the sisters in my life were born into my family

Today was a great day.  I taught my last lesson in RS  today.  Things seem to be happening quickly now with the move coming up.  I have finally told everyone in person that is really important to me that we are moving.  That has been really hard to do.  I love the people here that I have become dear friends with, not just friends but sisters...  This is always the hardest part of moving, saying good bye to people that have been an important part of my life. 

I remember saying goodbye to my sisters in Utah 8 years ago.  How sad I was, how sad they were.  I love my sisters.  I have missed my sisters.  I have craved seeing my sisters.  I love to laugh with my sisters.  I love to cry with my sisters.  Now I must leave my sisters here in Rochester.  I am feeling the same pain that I felt when I left Utah.  I had a dear close friend that I left in Albuquerque that I still ache for.  I need women and especially sisters in my life. 

I feel like the women of the pioneer era must have had such a sweet beautiful bond as they forged friendships as they worked together, sacrificed together, mourned together, grew together, shared joyous times and became sisters in life and for eternity.

I like to think of the women who have impacted my life as my dear sisters who have meant so much to me over the years.  Sisters who no matter what I will always be a part of their lives even when I am far away.  I hope I will always be close to their hearts because I know they will always be close to my mine.

I am grateful for great memories of the women in my life!

Perfect day

I think I forgot to blog yesterday! I just totally forgot. I will be back in the habit before ya know it.

I worked hard in my yard today. I feel beat. But it is a good kind of worn out. The kind when you know you have accomplished something and you can see the results. I am going to miss my yard so much. I love my yard it is just the right size and it is beautiful full of big old wise trees. The kind of trees that have stories from generations ago. I love hearing the leaves talk as the wind blows through them. It is such a calming noise, it makes me want to throw a blanket on the carpet of green grass and fall asleep right there as the leaves do there secret language of peace.

I bid you all good night as I drift off to slumber land. I am looking forward to getting up for the sabbath tomorrow. What a blessing it is to have a day of rest and worship God. I also get to teach the lesson in rs tomorrow. I love to teach, I always learn so much :)

I am grateful for the smell of lilac bushes in our neighbors yard that drifts over to our yard! And the most beautiful sun shine filled day. PERFECT day

No Worries

We recently had the Mother's Day phone call that every missionary family looks forward to while their son or daughter is serving.  Tanner actually was able to skype with us on Mother's Day.  It was so very exciting and the high light of my day.  He looked wonderful and sounded very happy and loves serving his mission.  He has already been gone for a full 5 months.  This is the longest he has been gone from home since he was in my belly and living in heaven :) 

I still miss him daily.  I miss talking to him, no actually I miss having really deep discussions with him. I miss laughing at stupid stuff with him.  I miss seeing him wear his hats.  I miss zoning off into space when he is lecturing me about politics and world affairs.  I miss him giving me hugs.  I just miss him.  But I am content and happy at the same time.  I know he is where he should be at this time in his life.  I don't even worry about him.  I know he is safe and being taken care of by a loving Heavenly Father. 

I am grateful for Missionaries who devote 18mo to 2 years of their lives sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Big News....

I am back.

I have missed writing on my blog so much.  After much discussion with Scott I have decided to start blogging again :)  Once again I am going to blog every day.  I hope you are as excited as I am about this new development in my life.

And speaking of developments....the Greer's are going to be relocating to Utah in two months.  Yes this is true.  It was an extremely hard choice for us to make (just ask my sisters) But after much deliberation we have come to the conclusion to move closer to Scott's new job and cut down on the commuting time that he faces each week.

I have extremely mixed emotions about this.  I am so dang excited to live close to my sisters (I love them) but I am going to miss living here in Rochester so much  (I love it here and love my friends who have been a second family to me). 

I am so emotional about it.  It is actually hard for me to write about (tear).  As life goes by I feel like my heart breaks a little with each child we send off into the world and each home we leave behind as we move on to other challenges and life experiences.

Okay I am done boohooing about my emotional state.

I am going to find a way to go watch Tim McGraw in concert.  I just watched him on A.I. and I love him.  Does anyone out there want to go to a concert with me no matter where we have to fly to???

I am grateful for the girls.  They are so entertaining!  They make me laugh all the time :)

A Change

I have changed my settings on the blog so no one can read it.  I am the only one allowed to read it.  A couple of days ago Scott was a bit upset about what I am blogging about.  (We have had this argument before and he told me he just wasn't going to read my blog any more because it upset him, but he has been reading it occasionally still) 

I love to blog.  It is very therapeutic for me.  It is more like a journal to me then anything else but because "people" read it I hold back on my feelings and even subjects I would like to write about so I won't offend or say inappropriate things that could be hurtful to my family.

I am now going to be journaling "blogging" for myself only.  I didn't blog before for others entertainment, I did it for myself so I really don't have a problem changing my settings to this private setting.

I will blog some more later....right now I am going to kick out Elle's friends who told me they would leave by 9:30 this morning and it is already almost 11:30.  I also am going to go make some banana bread to send to Tanner and give to some visiting teaching sisters.

I am grateful for my home.

To Tweak or not Tweak that is the question

I think I need to have my medication tweaked a little.  I have been having a lot of anxiety lately and just feeling blue.  I want it to go away.  I don't feel very motivated right now.  I don't like to get dressed for the day and go out.  I don't like to answer the phone.  I don't like to do anything actually.

I feel anxiety because of this.  When I don't do anything.  Because I know I should be doing something.

 Yesterday I got in the shower and got dressed including hair done and make up on because I needed to go do some errands including taking Sandy to the vet and doing a visiting teaching appointment.  When Scott got home from work he made a comment about how nice I looked.  He asked me how it felt to actually get dressed that day.  It surprised me.  I hadn't realized that I have gotten so lazy about doing anything with myself lately but it is so true.  Many people here in MN just don't worry about the way they look. The mentality is different, it is more important to be warm and feel comfortable then to look good.  I feel very comfortable going out in public in Rochester without makeup on or even my hair done.  I never felt that way in NM or especially in Utah most women wouldn't be caught dead without their full mask of makeup on in public.

But I don't think it is because I live in MN that I am feeling this high level of anxiety or depression.  (Well maybe it is because it could be seasonal)  I just don't want to do anything, except eat!  I am going to call my Dr. today.  It has been nice having this chat with you.  Sometimes it helps me so much to put all this in writing and allows me to see what I need to do to make things better.

I am grateful for dreams.  I had one last night about a person in my ward and when I woke up I realized what I needed to do for a visiting teaching route that I have had a hard time with.

Happy Monday

Monday morning.

I am once again watching all the flurry of activity going on in my back yard.  The birds are busy doing their mating dances (I think).  It still looks brown outside.  There is no new green color out there but I feel hope that soon my back yard will be transformed into a beautiful green mixed in there with many other spring colors (I am not sure what colors will pop up since we have not lived in this house through spring yet it shall be a surprise!) 

So I registered to be a member of a support group for missionary moms this weekend.  This has been the most exciting thing I have done for a long time.  I have already been in contact with 2 moms who have sons serving in Boston one of which is a Cambodian speaking elder!!  And one mom who lives in a Cambodian speaking ward in Boston (there are only two magnet wards who host Cambodian missionaries)  So I found out from one of the moms that Tanners p-day is on Mondays!!  Which happens to be today!!  My favorite day of the week just switched from Tuesdays to Mondays :) 

It is spring break.  We were going to go to Utah today but Emma couldn't get the time off of work.  I think I am going to take her at the end of April or first week of May over her birthday.  She is still dead set on living with her Grandma.  We need to get out to Utah to have the opportunity to talk to some schools and let Emma see what life really is like in Grantsville UT.  (Not that exciting for a 17 year old, but she will have to learn that for herself I guess)

I am grateful for tender mercies of Heavenly Father.  It is a tender mercy that I have made contact with some mom's of Boston missionaries.

Life in a nutshell

I am sitting here looking out my big window at the snow that is melting.  The sun is shining and it is a beautiful day.  My mood is pretty good as I was able to work through some anxiety that I was feeling this morning.  I think when I keep busy my anxiety lessens.  So this is turning out to be a pretty good day.  Getting lots done around the house.  Spending time with Elle and helping her stay on task with school.

 Emma has started working full time.  This is a good thing.  It is getting her up and out of bed by 9:00am and she is gone all day.  She comes home at night and still has some energy until about 9 or 10 pm and then crashes.  This is really a good thing for Emma.  Emma seems happier since she got her drivers license a couple of weeks ago.  I have been letting her take the car to do things with her sister and friends and I think she really feels good about that. 

Elle has started to refocus herself with school.  She started to get really lax with things and I am not allowing it any more.  I have decided to stop committing myself to all the obligations outside my home helping others when it is Elle who needs my help.  She does better just by me being in the room with her and reminding her that she shouldn't be on any kpop sites until her work is done.

So things are good today!  I am happy.

I am grateful for the sunshine today.

Missionary phone call

I only have a few minutes today.  I wanted to report on how awful my phone call with Tanner went.  He was very late calling me.  I actually didn't think I was going to get a phone call because it was so late.  He told me he would call between 11:30 and 12:30 and so when 1:10 finally rolled around I was suprised when he did call.  He immediately told me that he only had 7 minutes to talk because the flight was late and he needed to catch the connecting flight ot Boston.  The second he told me he only had minutes  I lost it.  I was so emotional already because of my night before that I just couldn't hold back.  I just cried and cried.  I finally got control and aksed him a few questions before I broke down again and handed the phone to Elle to say good bye.  This was harder for me to talk to him on the phone then it was to put him on the airplane to Utah in Janurary.  I think it would actually been better for me to not have gotten the phone call then to sob like a baby when he was on the phone.  He handled it very well.  He sound wonderful.  He was happy and so excited to finally get to Boston!

I am fine today.  If he had called me today I know I would not have cried.  Isn't it horrible that he called on the one day of the year that I am a mental mess?  Oh I wish I could have a do over! 

I am grateful for Elle she makes me laugh!

Hope

I already have a headache and it is only 8:15am.  Last night the missionaries came over.  They come over every week and teach my family.  Why you ask?  Well they are suppose to teach less active families and we fit the definition of a less active family.  The girls don't participate in activities very much, and often don't go to church.  So by definition we are a part active family. 

When the missionaries asked if they could come teach each week I thought why not, it certainly can't hurt and it might even help the girls (and Scott and I for that matter).  Last nights session was a doozie.  Emma refused to pray and got up and walk right out of the room and Elle was well....Elle in her best form (which is not saying much!).  Scott was cracking jokes that actually were not nice towards me!  I just sat there and started crying. (I don't know why but I just couldn't hold it back) I think he was shocked to see me cry and he didn't know what to do and oh it was a mess!  Right there in front of the missionaries.  So now the truth is out...the Greer's are not perfect and it is really hard to try to do what is right and endure well. 

Yesterdays blog was about not being perfect. The Greer's were the perfect model of imperfection last night.  I can relate to everyone who comes to me and tells me they are just not perfect enough, this is my reality too! 

I know that the gospel is perfect but people aren't.  If I only had to do it for myself and didn't worry about my family I think I would be less frustrated.  But when you have a family and you want your family to make the right choices and when they don't it becomes so hard and it is easy to just give up. 

When Tanner was around it was a little bit easier.  He was always very supportive of family prayer, family home evening and even family scripture study (I would have it in the morning with the three kids before we started school) but now he is gone I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.  The girls hate doing it.  Scott is kind of supportive but he never takes the initiative.  Some days I feel like I am trying to move mountains and I just can't do it.  I feel badly because I spend time helping others and I can't seem to help my own family.

So as you can see I am kind of in a sad state of mind right now.  I don't want to be sad when Tanner calls today.  It is going to make me miss him so much when I hear his voice.  I hope I don't cry.  I don't want him worried about me.  I need to get my act together.

All families have really bad moments.  I love my family so much.  I love Scott.  He is a wonderful husband and he usually 99% of the time is very considerate of my feelings.  Elle is so fun to be around, she has so much compassion.  Emma is sweet and is always willing to serve without complaint.  Last night was just one of those nights that happen to take place in front of the missionaries and now in front of all of you because I am sharing this story. 

I feel better.  I am going to pick myself up this morning and try again to be a good mom today.  I am going to keep trying to influence my family for the better.  I am going to never give up that is just what Satan wants me to do.  I may have trying moments but that is just what they are...moments.

I am grateful for Hope.  I do have hope in all things and I know nothing is impossible through Jesus Christ.

Very, Very Far from Perfect, that is ME!

It feels like a Wednesday to me.  But I am posting this on a Tuesday afternoon.  I am sorry I wasn't able to blog yesterday.  My life was crazy.  Remember last week when I was kind of bored and had lots of down time to read, watch movies, and just relax....well not this week.  I have been busy with my calling and other things that seem to take up lots of time.

I am grateful that I was born into the family that I was born into.  It has been such a blessing in my life to have a semi functional family unit!!!  I say that in the nicest way.  There is one thing that I always knew but has been shown to me in a more personal way through my life experiences and now with my rs president calling.  But there is no such thing as the "perfect family"  we are striving to be more like our Savior who is perfect but we are not perfect no one is and actually we are all very far from it.  It is a blessing to know that we all have struggles and we shouldn't compare ourselves with the person sitting next to us or anyone else for that matter.  We have been given different sets of challenges, talents, and experiences to help us become more like our Savior.  

I also want to report that Scott accepted a new job!  He is going to be a regional sales director for the western region of a company called Davidson Hotels.  He gets to work remotely (from home) and will be traveling about 3 nights a week, 3 weeks a month.  We are planning to continue to live in Rochester.  There has been some confusion because Emma is going to be moving to Utah at the end of the summer to live with her grandparents but  right now the Greer's (which will consist of Scott, Krystine, and Elle, boy we are getting small!) are staying put.

But this does create some new situations for us.  With a job change and  Emma preparing to leave I feel a bit of stress in my life.  I am grateful for my family and friends who support me in my times of stress and help make my life joyful.  What would life be without these wonderful connections we make with people who enrich our lives and help us through the rough times? 

The best news of today is...I get to talk to Tanner tomorrow!  I am so excited!  Wouldn't you be?  How about if you tell me what makes you excited!  I think my only two replies will be from  Allison and Michelle :)

I am grateful for all the groceries I was able to buy today to help my food storage grow!  I also am grateful for a prophet who teaches us that food storage is important.

Letting Go

It is very hard to let go.  I am struggling with the idea of Emma driving herself and Elle around.  Emma has found new freedom in getting her drivers license but it is very difficult.  It is much different even compared with how I felt when Tanner got his license.  He is a boy.  I knew that if something happened the world would see him differently then they do a 17 year old girl.  I use to get mad that my parents didn't treat my older brother and I the same.  I wanted equal treatment.  But until this week I didn't quite understand why my parents were so protective of me and not my brother when it came to driving privileges. 

But Emma needs to build her confidence and I am going to trust her judgements.  As much as it kills me I will let Emma spread her wings and fly.

I am grateful for Emma, she is teaching me a lot as a person and parent this year!

I Love Harry Potter!

I hope to be more motivated tomorrow.  I have been reading Harry Potter The Deathly Hollows the last few days and I can become very immersed in a book if I allow myself. 

Today's weather has been kind of blah.  Gray, rainyish, but a bit on the warm side (for MN).  I hope that the sun begins to peak itself through the clouds some time today.

I am going to send my camera to Tanner in the mail tomorrow.  That means I will be camera less until I can get Scott to buy me the camera I really, really want.   Elle and I want to take some photography classes and so we have begun to put the obvious hints into his ear!  Maybe I will get my wish for Mothers Day!

Life is great.  Emma has begun working full time and Elle and I are hanging out more.  Sometimes I think about getting a job but that thought goes in and out of my head very quickly.  Sometimes I am so busy with my calling and other times it is really, really slow.  Good thing I have a great book to read during those slow times!

I am grateful for Scott.  He works so hard so I can sit home and read!

Good News for the Greers!

Great news.....Emma got her drivers license!!!!  She drove herself to seminary this morning while I heard her quietly go out the door and then I wonderfully feel back to sleep!  Oh I love it :)

Emma was very, very nervous for her test.  She kept insisting that she was going to fail.  I told her that she was ready and I had every confidence in her that she would pass.  After all if her brother Tanner can pass she should have no problems!!  When she came back after the test drive she looked like she was ready to burst into tears for a split second I thought she was going to tell me she did in fact fail.  But I think it was just a look of HUGE relief because she rushed into my arms and told me she passed!!

We got our weekly letter from Tanner yesterday.  He is doing great.  He leaves for Boston in one week, next Wed.  He is allowed to call me on the phone when he is at the airport.  I am really excited for that.  So PLEASE no phone calls next Wed. afternoon, I will be speaking with Elder Greer!

I am grateful for good memories like the look on Emma's face yesterday :)

Happiness is a state of mind not a place

Monday morning.  What a beautiful day.  The sun is shining and I am going to try to let that same sun shine in my heart today.  It is my goal that I stay happy all day!  It is possible :)

I made a about 100 cake balls this weekend.  I got the idea from my friend Michelle.  I had to make treats for RS and I thought it would be a great treat.  I thought it would be easy and it was but very time consuming.  Here is a link to the recipe if any of you are interested they are quite yummy :)

http://followmehome.shellybean.com/2010/12/cake-on-stick.html


I am grateful that I am blessed to live in America!

Worries of a Mother

So today as I look out my big front living room window I see a beautiful white frosted wonder world.  I love the way the trees look when they are sprinkled with frost.

I woke up this morning to take a friend of Emma's to school who needed to stay the night because her mom and dad were out of town.  On the way to school I was listening to the radio.  I get so anxious when I hear about natural disasters happening around the world.  So as you read this you will (I am sure) already know that Japan experienced a large earthquake and a Tsunami today.  The  Tsunami will be hitting Hawaii very shortly.  This made me think of Tanner.  I am glad that Tanner is not there.

As I have pondered on Tanner this week I have realized that he is almost finished with his time at the MTC.  The harder the language is to learn the longer they have to spend at the MTC.  Tanner will be leaving to go to Boston on March 23.  For the last 3 months he has been in a little Mormon bubble.  He has been taken care of (might I add very well), his food prepared three times a day, doctors have been available 24/7 if needed, laundry on site, barber on site, everything he could need right there for him.  I have not worried one little bit about his well being. 

But that is about to change!  Soon he will be walking the streets of Boston.  I know that he will be safe and taken care of by Heavenly Father but still a mother has got to worry or she just wouldn't be a mother.  I am grateful that he is serving in the US and not in a place where I am sure I would have cause to have many more worries (like Hawaii where Tsunami hit all the time!!)

I am grateful for the beautiful flowers Scott got me! 

Spring is on its way!

I love my view out of my family room windows out into my back yard.  I can't see any houses from where I sit.  We have a big hill that is covered in trees.  I love trees.  I am getting excited to see what spring is going to look like from my big black chair.  So many days I sit here and ponder as I look out my window and watch all the animals scurrying around. In the dead of the winter I didn't see much movement from the animals but for about 3 weeks now every morning it is a flurry of activity.

I think every day about how much I miss Tanner.  Soon I will be missing two of my kids.  I think it is weird how you raise your kids for 17-18 years and then one day they are physically gone.  I know I will miss holding Emma's skinny long fingers in my hand.  I will miss kissing her on her forehead.  That is my favorite place to kiss her.  It always has been.  Even when she was a baby I loved her forehead.  It was so small and smelled so good and now when I kiss her on her forehead today it reminds me of when she was a baby. 

I am grateful for memories.

The heartache of being a mom

So if any of you have noticed I haven't been blogging much lately.  I am going to rededicate myself to blogging every day.  I have been asking myself lately why I don't feel like blogging.  I have come to the realization that I have been in a lot of pain lately and have felt my emotions a little to raw to blog.  Because I like to keep things honest and just say it like it is I haven't felt like putting it all out there in blogger land.

But I have also realized that I love to blog and it is very therapeutic for me.  This is very much like a journal to me.  I want to be able to come back to this spring 2011 in 30 years and see how it felt to be a mom of 2 teenage girls because I know in 30 years I won't remember how it felt day in and day.

I also am afraid that if I blog about how I am feeling I will get phone calls and people wanting to talk to me about what is going on and giving me their advice, sympathy and questioning me as a parent.  And to tell you the truth I just don't want to deal with that right now. 

So as I begin to share my experiences over the last little while please know that I don't really want to hear it from any of you.  This is my blog and if you want to be supportive just don't tell me all the things I am doing wrong as a parent but just know that I am some times barely hanging on.

A little while ago Emma decided that she didn't want to go to high school any more.  She wanted to get her GED.  This has been going on for some time now.  She has been wearing Scott and I down.  We finally agreed to give her our support.  We can plainly see that Emma has made the choice to give up on high school.  Sometimes we have to live with the choices we make and Scott and I understand that this choice can effect her future greatly if she chooses to let it.  Or she can do what she says and now move on to community college and move forward with the life she wants.  Time will tell.

This actually isn't even the upsetting part to me.  A month ago, yes,  I would say this was upsetting to me.  But now Emma no longer wants to live in Rochester with us.  She will be moving to Utah in the fall to live with her Grandparents and start school.  This has caused a fair share of heartache in our household.  I am not ready to let her go, but I must.  Scott and I can see how unhappy she is living here in Rochester.  It is effecting her and the rest of our family greatly!  We have come to an agreement to allow her to leave at the end of the summer.  This was compromise.  She was going to leave at the end of the month but I have convinced her to stay through the summer. 

This has been breaking my heart to think about Emma leaving.  I am not prepared to let another one of my kids move out and live away from me.  This is one of the hardest parts if motherhood I think.  I love my kids so much and it is so hard to see them leave and move on with their lives and grow up.  I want my kids to be around me always.  I know that is not practical, or what Heavenly Father has in mind for his children.  He lets us go so we can grow and learn from our mistakes and failures.  As parents we much trust that our children can make wise decision and make good choices in the process of living.  I can't always be there to protect my kids I must have faith that Emma will grow from her choices and that she will become who she wants to be and that she can be happy in the process of finding out who that is. 

I am grateful for my parents who let me go at an early age so I could grow.